After a divorce, co-parenting with your former spouse might seem like a tall order, particularly if you have a plethora of unresolved issues and wounded feelings. It is important to remember that your new relationship as divorced co-parents should focus on your children and not on the problems that ultimately led to the end of your marriage. If you allow these issues to continue to haunt your co-parenting relationship, your children will feel the burden of it and it may cause them further distress.
To guide you through it, we compiled some tips that will help you successfully co-parent your children now and for years to come.
How to Successfully Co-Parent After Divorce
Even if you are angry with your former spouse, you must remember that setting aside these feelings is for the benefit of your children. You are trying to create a stable and loving environment for them.So if it pains you to think you are doing something for your ex, remind yourself that this is for your children.
Moreover, it is crucial for you and your former spouse to become more effective communicators. Learn what medium works best for you. If texts and emails are a better way for you to avoid heated arguments, opt for this form of communication instead of phone calls or in-person meetings.
Here is your 2020 guide for successful co-parenting in the aftermath of a divorce:
- Show that you are a team: Even though you are no longer married, you are still a parenting team, so present a united front for your children. Attend parent-teacher conference meetings and other important after school events together, if possible, to jointly show support for your children as a team.
- Set consistent household rules: If you have two very different sets of household rules, it will confuse the children and ultimately result in them acting out. Ease their anxieties by maintaining consistent household rules. They do not necessarily need to be identical, but they should be fundamentally similar.
- Do not use your children as messengers: Your children should never end up in the middle of a discussion between you and your co-parent. If there is something you want to express to your former spouse, communicate it to them yourself.
- Listen to each other: People often misunderstand what it means to be a good listener. Being a good listener does not mean you have to agree with what you hear. It means you should understand the message you are hearing before you offer a response. Understanding one another will help you achieve better compromises and create more effective solutions.
- Reassure your children: The aftermath of a divorce is a precarious time for children, so you and your co-parent should provide the reassurance they need to feel safe. Let them know they are loved and that the divorce was not their fault.
Contact Our Knowledgeable Family Law Attorney Today!
If you recently finalized your divorce, we understand the aftermath can be jarring, especially for your children. You may encounter some issues with your child custody order as you field your way through the new family dynamics. At Galmiche Law Firm, P.C., our family law team will help you navigate the complexities of your case, to put you in the best position to achieve a favorable resolution.
Contact our law office today at (636) 552-4841 to set up an initial consultation.